Saturday, February 2, 2008

"That guy doing Potsie is incredible."

Last night my friend craniac pointed out that kids run their own Ocean-esque gags. Here's a sample:

Floppy Divac
After Vlade Divac, the Serbian NBA player. When a child displays a talent for drawing the foul by creating contention or acting the victim.

Russian Peasant
Craniac's name for when children suddenly are starving to death, typically right at bedtime.

Luge
When a small child assumes a stiff, board position, making it nearly impossible for you to hold them.

Chinese Water Torture
When a child attempts to win a parent's consent by wearing them down a parent through sheer volume and repetition of requests.

Bambi
When a child tries to win favor by acting cute and/or plaintive.

Helen Keller
Acting as if dumb and/or mute in order to ignore parents.

4 comments:

  1. Ahhh, the Luge. Asher is an EXPERT at that one. He could win gold at the Olympics. He's also pretty good at Bambi - which is a deadly combination.

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  2. PINBALL WIZARD
    As in "deaf, dumb and blind child" Can't hear younger sibling crying, "can't talk now," and can't see the water running over in the sink--or any other such catastrophe... "cuz I'm about to get the high score on this level!!!"

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  3. never fear, brenda. the sofa is thrifted and slip-covered. we eat things like falafels and samosas for dinner. and we're still living mostly on love. but i do shave my legs. ;)

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  4. Don't forget "Lost in Translation" kids are always pulling that one on me!

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