Monday, June 16, 2008

Hello, old friend

Friday I stepped on the scale at the gym and saw this number:

130.0

I have not seen this number for more than 3 years. Since before I got pregnant, whoops!, got pregnant again, lay in a hospital bed for a week, couldn’t move for a month without going into labor, had a baby…

Now, some of you are thinking, “That’s a really low number! Don’t even talk to me about body size!” Some of you are thinking, “Ang, I know how you look in jeans and you really need to raise your standards!” Some of you (likely the men) are thinking, “Why oh why are we even talking about this?!”

It’s true I look bad in jeans and terrible in a swimsuit and would certainly look a lot better if I lost 10 more pounds. But here’s the thing: The body I have is the body of my life. I’m 36. I have 5 children. The flap of skin that hangs over my waistband is a direct result of stretching out to house those babies—something I wouldn’t trade for all heaven and earth. Ditto the stretch marks that inexplicably have spread across my entire torso and half my legs. Even my mutant-grade saddlebags are a direct result of my beloved Benac-Wilson heritage. I’m healthy, I’m relatively fit, and that’ll have to do.

My goal in life is not to come out at the end unscathed and untouched, all perky and smooth and pristine. My neck is turning into a turkey waddle, my hands are sprouting age spots, and that’s just the beginning. I’m gonna get older and fatter, and so are you, and there’s nothing--no diet, no cream, no exercise plan--that will stop it.

Life
Edgar Guest

Life is a gift to be used every day,
Not to be smothered and hidden away;
It isn't a thing to be stored in the chest
Where you gather your keepsakes and treasure your best;
It isn't a joy to be sipped now and then
And promptly put back in a dark place again.

Life is a gift that the humblest may boast of
And one that the humblest may well make the most of.
Get out and live it each hour of the day,
Wear it and use it as much as you may;
Don't keep it in niches and corners and grooves,
You'll find that in service its beauty improves.


While I “wear” and “use” my body, while age and babies take their toll, I’m banking on “service”—plus yoga and moisturizer and broccoli—to find a beauty that improves.

4 comments:

  1. Yeah for you Angela!!! That's my ideal number too. We'll see when I get there. Look to my log for a quote that goes with your poem. It's from Marjorie Pay Hinckley. Definitely a quote to live by.

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  2. Welcome to the 130 club! We want to see some pics. Although everything might not be tight, I'm sure you look fabulous.

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  3. Congratulations. On reaching a numerical goal and on looking fab no matter what.

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  4. Congrats!

    I don't think I've seen 130 since high school... :(

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