Wednesday, November 19, 2008

MORE on School Systems: The Consequences of Consequences

Right now Logan is downstairs in his room screaming that I'm the worst mom in the world. He left his planner at school, and the rule is he's grounded if he doesn't bring home his planner and homework. I was very tempted to let him slide. He's been doing pretty well, it was an honest mistake, and I really don't like taking away the things my children love. But then he started whining and arguing and telling me all the ways my parenting strategies are poorly conceived. And then, somehow, he lost my sympathy. Plus, I'm constantly learning and re-learning with this kid that mercy doesn't work--cause-and-effect consequences do.

Meanwhile, I'm getting confirmation that our strict follow-through with Logan is having the intended effects. Last night he brought home a report card that is much, much better than last year's. Not perfect. Not even his full capacity. But a big improvement. Mark and I had a little confab with Logan on the hallway floor, and it broke my heart to see his pride in his accomplishments. See? It feels good to do your duty.

Today I called his teacher to reschedule our parent-teacher conference, and she told me how much she enjoys Logan. How he's clever and involved and kind and patient. Be still my beating heart! Then she told me how some silliness popped out of Logan's mouth, and she responded, "Logan, I like you." And how he smiled, speechless.

6 comments:

  1. You're right...heartbreaking is jus the right word. On so many levels.

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  2. I'm sorry you have been having such a hard time with Logan. I guess all we can say to ourselves is "this too shall pass"

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  3. I've lived that afternoon. Tyler and Logan are two peas in a pod. School is just not the highest priority on their list...making people laugh is much higher. It will be interesting to see if they choose to learn these lessons the 'easy" way form momand dad or if they choose to wait and learn it the hard way from others in their lives.

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  4. oh man lindy, you hit that nail right on the head. it will be "interesting" indeed!

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  5. That kid is blessed to have you. You obviously receive inspiration about what's best for him.

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  6. oh, it sounds like success! If not still frustrating every now and then!

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