Monday, June 22, 2009

An Absurdist Play in One Act

The scene: After bedtime.
Mom is sitting on the floor in the hallway guarding two bedrooms. At the first door, she monitors a certain chicita who has been known to sneak out of her bed and fill her foster sister's crib with hard toys. At the second, she is poised to grab the doorknob and hold on tight to teach the hooligan whom no lock can hold that, yes, he must stay in his room and go to sleep. A child from the unguarded third bedroom comes creeping up the stairs.

Child: Mom, I think my finger is broken. [He flexes the finger to demonstrate.]

Mom: Your finger is not broken.

Child: But someone in my class got hit with a basketball and his finger was broken and today my finger got hit with a basketball and it really hurts. [He pauses to close his eyes and grimace and whimper just a little bit.]

Mom: I'm sorry it hurts. It's not broken.

Child: You don't act like you're sorry!

[Child retreats back down the stairs to curse my name.]

Upon reflection, I realize he's right. I'm not sorry about fake injuries that suddenly appear after bedtime.


  1. Heh. I actually laughed aloud while reading this.

    We have a similar problem around here--fake injuries are okay at our house but fake/late hunger is unacceptable.

  2. Anything fake and/or late is unacceptable at our house!

    Sounds like a fun evening. I hope you don't have to repeat it for too long. Maybe a reward system for Haley if she doesn't mess with Mallory one night? And Jesse... I hope he learns soon!

  3. Have you tried put a lock on the outside of Jesse's door? You wouldn't have to keep it locked all night long. We used to do that for my little brother. I agree with Nancy on the Haley issue.

  4. Haley does have consequences established--just doing a bit of follow-through.

    We've done locks on the outside of bedroom doors--and gotten in trouble with DCFS. I don't know, it's like they frown on locking children in their rooms or something. :) Jesse used to be great at staying in his room, so we're hoping a bit o redirection will do the trick.

  5. This resonates as my 5 yr old son told his Kindergarden teacher this morning, "My leg is broken," to which she replied calmly, "Well, you're walking on it, it seems fine to me." (and it was)

    funny stuff, the things our kids say!

  6. Hahahaha, said the mother of the bandaid beggar.