How to write four resumes on the first day the kids are off track*--
~ Beg neighbor to invite Jesse over for a play date. Thank heavens that neighbor says yes. Thank heavens for neighbor.
~ Get big bucket of toys from off-rotation stash in furnace room. Order remaining kids to stay in Haley's room playing with said toys.
~ When kids get tired of said toys and promise to play outside quietly but instead torment, bicker, and run in and out incessantly, banish them back to bedrooms.
~ Promise lunch at Sonic in exchange for continued cooperation.
~ Deliver on lunch at Sonic, thereby saving hassle of serving lunch at home.
~ Let kids watch a movie.
~ When daughter says, "Hey, Mom?" cut to the chase and respond, "No."
~ Since exercise time isn't going to make the cut today, engage in power shopping. Try to do a week's shopping, get it home, and make dinner in 35 minutes. Load even big kids into shopping cart, along with 200 pounds of groceries. Notice elevated heart rate as you schlep all to van.
~ Serve homemade soup for dinner--frozen from a double batch last week.
~ When husband arrives home and volunteers to do dinner dishes, sneak away for a long, hot shower.
* Not recommended. Do not try this at home.