Teens

Things I rarely do now that I have teens

• Vacuum.
• Unload the dishwasher.
• Mow the lawn.
• Hire a babysitter.
• Take more than a couple kids to the store.
• Watch a show or movie I can't justify the moral soundness of.
• Clock out at eight o'clock.

Things I do now that I have teens

• Drive endless circles around the church parking lot giving driving lessons.
• Stay up late waiting for someone to come home.
• Parent when they'll accept it, which usually comes after nine o'clock.
• Discuss gender roles, sex, intimacy, real men, atheism, choosing a career, religious doubt.
• Buy shoes and clothing in sizes larger than my husband’s.
• Monitor shaving and use of deodorant.
• Call my children "dude." (Somehow it softens the blow to say, "Dude, do your chores" or "Dude, that was lame.")
• Watch tasteless youtube clips.
• Spend hundreds of dollars to register for school.
• Spend hundreds of dollars on groceries--frequently.
• Listen to rap and pop.
• Worry more.