Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Overflowing

Sometimes people comment on how Roscoe must be such a wonderful inspiration and example to his siblings. I nod and agree, but really I wonder if he's not. The kids see Roscoe as unapproachably perfect. Great grades. Amazing work ethic. Relentlessly righteous. He works at McDonald's! He drives his own car! They adore him. They bask when they get a moment of his attention. But I don't think they think they can be like him.
Was Roscoe excited about his last day of work at McDonalds...
...or was he not? 
Roscoe, of course, is not actually perfect. But truly he is an amazing, special, rareified creature. Everyone knows it.

Everyone but Roscoe, I fear. Sometimes I think Roscoe is a little lonely up on that pedestal we've made for him

Mark and I mostly let Roscoe do his own thing. We support whatever decisions he makes. We say yes to almost everything he asks for. When he comes to us for advice, we tell him we're sure he'll make the right choice. The irony is that if I were to have one beef about my nearly perfect upbringing, this would be it. I look back on my teenage years and see that the veneer of competence and assurance I gave off was largely a farce and that I could have benefited from a little more guidance, advice, and hand-holding from my wise parents. (Even today, in fact!)
Bets escaped from bed last night and pattered downstairs to  do some YouTube watching with Roscoe. See how they're sharing earbuds? So sweet! Betsy is smart enough to know that quiet and cuddly girls are allowed to stay up late, just for fun.
My philosophy with babies is to fill them up with so much love and sweetness that it overflows from them for the rest of their lives. Roscoe got plenty of that, so I do take a teensy bit of credit for his loving heart that I filled. But this time next year Roscoe will likely be down south in a dorm room. Til then,  it's my chance to fill him with even more strength, affirmation, and encouragement. The next few years--starting college, serving a mission, choosing a career, finding a spouse--will be major for him. We know that he can do it. I need to make sure he knows.

1 comment:

  1. I've been thinking about this in relation to my expectations of Naomi. I just bought a book called The Girl Who Makes Mistakes which will hopefully help her know that I know she's not perfect.

    ReplyDelete