Friday, February 14, 2014

Accomplished, powerful, and beautiful

Is it bad to admit that I get parenting wisdom from The Biggest Loser? Well, I do.

Recently, Dolvett--my top choice for a trainer if I ever find myself morbidly obese and on national TV--told one of the contestants that he wanted her to see herself as "accomplished, powerful, and beautiful." Those are the perfect words for how I want Haley to see herself. I posted them on a little sticky note on a kitchen cupboard as a reminder for myself to find ways to show her that I see her that way.

Poor Haley's soft voice is often drowned out in this family. Simple roadblocks often seem impossible to her. And I think she often feels overpowered rather than powerful. We worry about all this, especially as Haley approaches young womanhood, when girls who feel powerless can be overly swayed by the false power of attracting the wrong kind of attention.

I am delighted to report that we've made some great progress lately with this young lady. This year, Haley is playing flute in the school band and taking private piano lessons. I'm thrilled with this because a child practicing music in the afternoon feels like heaven on earth to me. (Except when they play the same wrong chord one hundred times in a row; then it...doesn't.) Also because music works on exactly the cognitive areas Haley needs help with. And because it helps her to feel accomplished. Each week, she sits down to pieces that she cannot play. And by the end of the week, she can!

Recently, I set three goals for Haley each day. They are--

1. Do all your responsibilities (homework, chores, take a shower, etc.),
2. Be honest,
3. Be respectful to your parents, especially when they are giving you a reminder or instruction.

She gets a point for each goal she meets each day. And when she has nine points, she gets a reward. She came up with either french fries for her after-school snack or an extra half-hour of reading time at night. Haley is best motivated by positive reinforcement, so this little system has worked wonders for her. It gives her a chance each night to report on her progress.

1 comment:

  1. Love that from Dolvett. He is pretty awesome. But I would choose Bob. I feel he and I could be very good for each other.